Pro Wrestling Impact

Pro wrestling coverage of TNA, WWE, and Independent Feds

Monday, February 07, 2005

Telling It LIke It Is.....By John-Michael Newton

This Week: Rumble Review, Honky Tonk Man, and other thoughts.

Greetings from Staten Island, where it is 10 degrees outside. Well another
Rumble has come and gone. Overall it was a good show, except for the
snoozer of Edge-HBK and Orton-Cripple H matches. I swear, both matches
nearly put me to sleep. Edge is totally lost as a singles wrestler, and we
all know about the Cripple who is a political ploymaster. As for the WWE
title match, we all know that JBL was going to go over, but at LEAST they
made it look respectable. The GAYme just proved that he has no business
being a World Champ. I mean Jeff Jarrett would make a better WWE Champ than
the GAYme. The Casket match was pretty good, surprisingly. But Undertaker,
despite his no-selling, he will put people over and make them look good, and
believe me, Roid Boy Heidenreich needs all the help he can get!!! But we
had a good possible lead in with Sinitsky and Kane....Possible UT-Kane and
Heidenreich-Sinitsky match at Mania?? We can only wait and see.

Now, on to the Rumble. I am not a fan of the extension, but that aside, it
was an entertaining match. Chock full of great moments. The best had to be
the 'Chopfest" at the beginning. Daniel Pruder getting on the mike and
running his pie hole. Then Holly comes out and the beating begins. The
only thing that was bad is it didn't last longer, I was laughing so hard
watching this. Then came Sinitsky's beheading of Paula London. But work
with me here, and I saw this on Raw. This Mohammed Hassan gimmick is not
working. I mean this guy is from Jersey and speaks with a guido accent.
The Iron Sheik he is definitely not. He has a good look to him, he has
skills, but this is not 1980. Political gimmicks do not work anymore.

Now on to the fat piece of waste known as the Honky Flunk Man. Recently, he
wrote in his column ripping on Ric Flair, calling him "saggy Man" and
labeling him as a man who holds talent down. Uhh, news flash, you fat pud,
Just because you are the greatest mid carder ERRRR IC Champ of all time,
does not give you the righ to rip on a real legend like Fl;air. For one, At
least Flair can still wrestle a good match. At least Flair is still
legitimately a integral part of a roster. At least Flair gets a crowd
reaction, not a sympathy call. And FLair still puts the profession first,
making guys look good and working with people. And who are you to Talk
about Flair. The only reason your fat ass had a job was because you kissed
Hulk Hogan's and Bret Hart's rear end for 15 years!! Of Course Mr. Farris
had to being up the backstage fight with Foley and Flair. the truth is that
Foley was running his mouth like he alwais does because he is full of
himself. Heck, I would have punched him out too. Do me a favor, Mr Man,
lay off the donuts and Big Macs, and lose about 100 pounds, and then maybe
you can have a career again. Until then, Shut your meaningless hole and
crawl back from whatever cave you popped out of.

Well that is all for now. Stay warm in Florida. And I will see you in a
couple of weeks. Take care!!!

JMN




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